Crestfallen

2/14/10

Allow me to take a step back and
see how your eyes look under the light.
Will they look at me with a glimmer of humor, a hint of playfulness?
No.
This is not you. This is a silhouette of my past
playing tricks on my naive mind; my weak and timid heart.
Your lips part to reveal eloquently spoken sentences
that force me to amend every word I've thought.

The Autumn winds stole your face away from me,
carried your heart away like debris.
I often walk the streets searching, listening for your voice.
Fighting a losing battle with a shocking amount of bravery.

You're hidden behind everything I write.
Putting words to paper in an effort to keep you fresh in my shallow mind.

Where does one turn
when even God turns his ear away from their desperate cries?
Keeping one eye on the television as they pour their heart on the table.
In one ear and out the other,

tending to someone else in need while I crumble in the corner.

When a smile is just like a song
that plays like a taunting record in your mind.
Over and over.
Until you fall to your knees with regret, exasperation, and sorrow.

No, these eyes are monstrous in this light.
Unsightly and unbeautiful.
I must find you.
I crave your gentle and soothing words,
warm as the sun.
Warm like you.