Early death is so unfair.

RIP Joe Welburn.

I went to elementary school with you.
We used to call you Joey.
You had the softest hair... Kelsey C. and I used to play with it a lot.
You held my hand in 6th grade because I was sad that my dog died.
You were the silliest member of drumline.
You had your own cadence.
It was purely about your laugh.
Steph and I snuck you out of Seminar each week to go to the band room.
You always high-fived us for it.
Sometimes we had brief conversations about our goals in life.
We skipped band together one day and just hung out in the commons.
You were such good friends with my cousin, so I feel like we were even closer that way.

I seem to act like we hardly knew each other but we really did.
You were so loveable.
And you were doing so well.
We were proud of you.
We are proud of you.

Now I wish I could hold your hand. I wish this hadn't happened. I'm so sorry.

You will always be loved.

God, BEDA is just not my thing. I need to be told what to write about if I'm going to do this every day. So I am officially declaring this a normal post that I happen to be writing in April.

My grandma recently broke her ankle in two places and had to get surgery. She was in the hospital for about 4 days, and then she was able to go back home. I've been here helping her around the house since Tuesday.

The thing about my grandma is that she hates to be helped. If she starts to get up and into her wheelchair, I have to yell "HEY! What do you want? Sit back down." She nearly refuses to have someone wait on her hand and foot.

I try to be a good granddaughter. I love her more than anything or anyone else in the world and I just want her to see that I'm capable of loving her just as much as she loves me.

And, would you look at that, while I was typing this, she did the dishes. Of course.

BEDA #7

The moon is fire in the sky tonight and I hear your voice behind me.
“Life is terrible, but it’s an adventure. It shuts you down and rips holes in your soul.”
There’s a glare off the bay, my heart is ripping through my chest trying to get closer to you.
“And you, you are creative in the way you work. You prowl into my mind all the time.”


I SERIOUSLY miss this moment in time.

PS I know these are short, but I'm feeling just a tad bit off lately.

BEDA #6

Woooooohoooooo!

I'm moving in the fall!
I'm getting my own place!
I know what I'm doing for school!
I'll be meeting new people!
I'm gonna get a Bachelor's in Communications!
I'm gonna be away from home!
FINALLY!

I can't wait to leave.

BEDA #5

You know what I did tonight?

I texted you at 10:30 PM. It was 9:30 there. I asked if you were awake.

You responded "Yeah, but you're lucky you caught me before I jumped into bed."

I told you, "Oh, okay. Sleep well!"

To that you joked, "Kim. It's 9:30, why in God's name would I be asleep?"

My entire day had been dull and slightly depressing and that's all I needed to get a smile to creep up onto my face.

I told you to entertain me, I was bored.
You said no.
I said yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.

"I have shit to do. I can't be texting."
"Liar."
"Sorry babe!"
"Stop responding, then."
"Just watch."
"Mhm, okay.
":-)"
"Respond once more. I dare you."
":-*"

Made my day more than worth it.

~~~

I filled my day with mindless, mundane activities. I stopped at Meijer, getting a couple groceries, spent an hour on the treadmill, and read.
Seriously. If I had a job, I would feel a lot less lame.

BEDA #4

My senses flutter, as if they have become tangible objects.
I could place them into a box and
watch them shake it until it crashed to the floor.
You are real,
and outside it’s raining.

For months I had wondered about your kiss.
Would it be soft, like the affectionate tap of the water on my window?
Passionate, with the impulsive hint of anticipation, or
simple - showing your love through the grip of your hands and
the placement of your body?

I curl myself into the corner of my bed
waiting for you.
Your tempting scent moves closer by candlelight.
Musky, resolute with a bite.
As the shadows promenade to my left,
the familiarity between us grows and
the space between our bodies shrinks to nothing.

The rain marches on and we are idle.
Your words are few, but gentle and ensuring.
This time is absolute,
this time is only ours.

BEDA #3

Well, Michigan State lost the basketball game. We lost by only 2 points, and we came very close to making a comeback and winning, but we surely did not deserve to win.

Morgan had a back and forth season, Lucas was out for the rest of the season with a torn Achilles tendon, and Luscious had been limping every other game.

We made it to the Final Four, as we deserved to. With the way we performed in this last game, there was no way we deserved to continue on.

ANYWAY.

Easter Sunday.

Normally I love this day. Family time, food, candy. But today I may just scream my heart out at my grandma.

Who does she think she is, cutting me down constantly? This is just what she does. I don't live the way she does, so apparently I'm trash. A family friend got pregnant out of wedlock, she's a whore. I don't have a job so I'm a failure. My dad has a bit of a belly lately, she mentions it in front of everyone. My best friend is finished with her Associate's and has a regular steady job. Apparently that means she's queen (oh, and she's super skinny and that seems to be mighty important to grandma).

I apologize that today's blog is bitchy and whiny, but I can't fucking stand the way she condescendingly puts pressure and harsh judgment on everyone around her.

Fuck today. I'm going to go listen to Jason Mraz.

BEDA #2

An introduction of sorts:

My name is Kim and I'm not entirely sure who I am yet.

I try to keep a level head in heated situations, and I make sure to always consider others' feelings when I make decisions, and when I speak my mind.

I have made some stupid mistakes but I try not to live in regret because had I not made those decisions, I would not be exactly where I am now. I like where I am now.

I am a nerdfighter, a writer, a young-hearted dreamer who wants only to be away from home.

Someone once told me I was an angelic, blonde haired, blue eyed little devil.

I enjoy things that are the color green, panda bears, and a quality cup of jasmine tea.

That's about 1% of me, though.

BEDA #1

Ah, BEDA. Blog every day April.

So I'm already behind, go figure. But I will post two posts tonight to make up for that, so that I feel like I've still done this all correctly.

I started this blog last year because of BEDA. I feel like I owe my blog a proper participation in BEDA this time around, since I failed quite a lot last year.

My goals for this time around include (but are not limited to):

1. (Obviously) Posting each day.
2. Submitting a piece of written poetry or prose once a week or more.
3. Having more lengthy posts.
4. Enjoying this more than I did last year.

Blogging is something that I feel I should take more seriously, and I will try my hardest to do so now.

3/25/2010

365 days of happiness -

Day 7 -

Another AWESOME basketball game. Church. Laura time. The Well. Alex Goldsmith being AWESOME. Booty shaking.

Day 8 -

Cleaning. Looking cute. Long drives. Grand Rapids train station. Being treated to dinner. Getting home at 3:30 AM.

Day 9 -

Waking up like it's a dream. Laura and Sawyer time. Book store hunting. Best game of madlibs ever. Cuddles. Smiles. Bonfires. Marshmallows. Feeling exactly like Summer.

Day 10 -

Waking up too late. Breakfast with the girls. Banana-Strawberry jam. Puppy adventures. Hair cut. Orange soda. Love.

Day 11 -

La Senorita. Dear Prudence. Visiting Aunt Betty. Calm lazy time. Cats. (TO BE CONTINUED.)

It can be assumed that all of these things included Laura and Sawyer. Attached at the hip all week, man.

365 days of happiness

Days 5 and 6 -

Lots of cleaning and The Well. Cheesy bread, window shopping, QDoba, and Laura. AWESOME basketball game and pizza.

Coffee and more cleaning. Friends and more Well time. Cute babies, and puppy cuddle time.

3/18/10

365 days of happiness

Day 4 -

Laura. Jason Mraz stuff. The Well with Jared's guitar playing. Wild Bill's Root Beer. Allie time. Cheap clothes. Cute dresses. Fast food and cute poodles. Harry Potter discussions. Gossip Girl discussions. Getting the news of Sawyer coming into town. Laura's AWESOME care package for me. Dove chocolates. 45 minutes of Lauren conversation. Yayz.

3/17/10

365 days of happiness

Day 3 -

The Avett Brothers, sunshine, taking walks by the bay. Wrote in my journal with colorful markers, sang to myself. Drove with the windows down and music up. Convinced my mom to plant sunflowers in her garden. Lots of them. Spent a lot of time outside, played with Oscar, ate some cake. Ran on the treadmill and did 20 pushups. Switched to my summer purse. <3

3/17/10

Today has been the first day in a while that I have not frowned. I cannot begin to explain the joy I've felt today. The sun is shining, the snow has disappeared, and it feels like Summer in this town. I took a walk by the bay, and I wrote in my journal. I'm finding that the more I physically write in a notebook, the easier it is for me to let my problems become part of the past.

I'm noticing myself becoming more active as each day passes and how much better it makes me feel. I'm reading again. I'm writing music again. I'm smiling while I'm alone. I'm more motivated.

I think I'm getting myself out of the ground, working on loving myself.
I feel genuinely okay.

3/16/10

365 days of happiness

Day 2 -

First bonfire of the year at Brigitte's. Carter and Eric hugs. Roasted marshmallows and hotdogs. Alice In Wonderland was wonderful. Lots of smiles. Movie theater popcorn. Mom-daughter time. Letting go of truth. Knowing Brigitte and Jason are moving in together. High fives from Hayden. Goldfish named Maurice, Jesus, and Captain Underpants. Good hair day. <3

3/15/10

365 days of happiness

Day 1 -

Guacamole and FRIENDS.

3/12/10

This one time, I bought a man a sandwich from a cafe downtown because I knew he was homeless and hungry. I knew it would mean more than just handing him a ten-dollar bill and walking away. I knew he would appreciate that kind gesture, and it made me happy to know I did something nice for someone I didn't know.

Another time, I drove all the way to Grand Rapids in a snow storm because I was restless, and a little downtrodden. While in the process of pulling a U-Turn, I got my car stuck in some deep snow, and kicked myself for thinking my car could make it through there. Just as I was about to call a family member to admit how foolish I was, a man in a tow truck pulled up next to my car and offered to pull me out. He yanked my little car out of the snow and patted me on the back. The next moment, he was gone.

When I was three years old, my cousin and I were playing in the mud at our aunt Betty's house. Kellen pushed me down in a rather large puddle, and I cut my finger. I ran to my aunt, who instructed me to go into the house and turn left, where I would be able to get to a sink to wash it off (There was a step stool for me to climb up on). Being as young as I was, I did not know my left from my right. Trying not to look silly in front of my aunt, I nodded my head and went inside. I turned to the right, parading through the entire house covered in mud.

At the end of Junior year, three other friends and I took a drive out to Empire beach for a birthday trip. We packed lots of candy and a camera. It was extremely foggy, and the water was lost behind the smog at the end of the shore. It made for a perfect backdrop for silly pictures. That evening was so pure in its innocence. That was the last time I remember having innocent fun with my best friends.

When I was eleven, my dad and I were in a head-on collision car accident. We were hit by a drunk driver and I was in the hospital for three days with injuries to my head and neck. Kellen came into my room and climbed up on my bed and handed me a very ugly orange stuffed monkey. He told me named him Bobby, but I could change the name if I wanted. He then hugged me tightly, and told me to stop getting headaches so we could start playing outside again.

Last night, my old best friend of thirteen years killed herself in her empty apartment in Chicago.
I don't feel so innocent anymore.
I feel old, and jaded.

3/9/10

Yeah, and you swore you'd never let this happen. You told yourself it's not a bridge you'd cross, but you were wrong. You made a big mistake, let that opportunity slip through your fingers, and now you're left with a heavy heart and a mind racing faster than you thought possible.

Yeah, those are the only thoughts you're going to have for a long time. You're going to be wondering what the hell happened to you, how you actually managed to put yourself in that position, and why things couldn't have gone in a different direction.

Now you're in a much more difficult situation. You're putting yourself in danger of experiencing many more emotional pitfalls. The worst thing about this is that you generally feel great about this situation. It's something you really want, but it isn't easily attainable. (At least it's not attainable while still feeling morally comfortable.)

Now you are caught up in silly desires, and it's going to cause you an emotional heart attack. Now you've moved on, to a disastrous scenario in which you're only going to be left in the dust. And you're just fine with it. You just wait. You're going to get your heart broken.

Marriage - A Game For Fools

3/3/10

I'm 20 years old and I've never enjoyed the idea of marriage.

Well, if we're being honest, I do enjoy the idea. (But only if it's a huge party celebrating ME, heh.)

Anyway, I think it's absolutely ridiculous to even be thinking about marriage at my age.
So why is my best friend getting married? Is he crazy? Who really wants to worry about a marriage when they have their 20's ahead oh them? Ugh.

But I think I'm just cynical, really. I've always been biased against love, and honestly, against my friend. He's gone through more girls than toilet paper. He's told me that the girlfriend at the time was "the one" three times now. Hmmm.

Isn't the divorce rate in this country 50%? I'm not buying into this. IF I fall in love, do I really need governmental proof that I love someone?


Eh. I don't want to ever get married.

A Poem For Myself

3/3/10

Lonely and in the corner
a gaze harder than stone.
Unaware of your own regression,
you’re dancing on your own.
A tiny doll, in a tattered dress
Propped upon the shelf.
Honey I’ve got no remedy
you’ve got to help yourself.

3/1/10

Don’t be lonely much longer,
dear child. Please allow no fear.
Your windowsill is collecting
dust without you here.

<3

3/1/10

I've got to say, The Beatles make my heart all fuzzy and warm.

That is all.

2/24/10

I’ve these thoughts in my mind,
these dreams-
that play out in a shade of blue.
For what it’s worth,
nothing came so naturally than being with you.

To Whom It May Concern.

2/22/10

I miss the sound of the rain.
I miss the way you would come up behind me and rub my shoulders.
I miss your beautiful brown eyes.

Walking barefoot everywhere.
Laughing about nothing at all.
Holding your hand.
Making paper cranes at 3 in the morning.

Jumping off the dock into the lake in the summer heat.
Making silly faces at you from the other room.

I miss that first hug.
I miss the uncertainty.

~~~

I enjoy visiting you often.
I enjoy helping you as much as possible.
I enjoy slowly but surely making positive decisions.

The beauty of snow.
Knowing that a good cry makes things feel less scary.
The winter sky.
Striped scarves and video cameras.

I enjoy alone time.
I enjoy making you smile.

~~~

I can't wait to move away.
I can't wait to start a new chapter of my ever-changing life.
I can't wait to ask difficult questions, and get helpful answers.

Grow up.
Find a new passion.
Learn about myself as a human being.
Travel somewhere new and scary. With you.

I can't wait to be free.
I can't wait to live.

xx

2/20/10

I feel like I only want to blog when I'm upset.

I think that's pretty sucky, to be perfectly honest. I feel like my body is going to implode. It's as if my insides are a large piece of notebook paper and someone is crumbling it into a ball. A really tight ball. With a ticking bomb inside.

That bomb is going to explode soon. And it's this unbelievable, painful sensation in the pit of my stomach that makes me fall to my knees with frustration.

I need to be away from my life. I need a taste of something new. ANYTHING. I've never been more excited to be away from home, away from everything I'm used to.

When I'm distraught, I honestly can't find good ways to explain my situation, my feelings.

Meh.

Crestfallen

2/14/10

Allow me to take a step back and
see how your eyes look under the light.
Will they look at me with a glimmer of humor, a hint of playfulness?
No.
This is not you. This is a silhouette of my past
playing tricks on my naive mind; my weak and timid heart.
Your lips part to reveal eloquently spoken sentences
that force me to amend every word I've thought.

The Autumn winds stole your face away from me,
carried your heart away like debris.
I often walk the streets searching, listening for your voice.
Fighting a losing battle with a shocking amount of bravery.

You're hidden behind everything I write.
Putting words to paper in an effort to keep you fresh in my shallow mind.

Where does one turn
when even God turns his ear away from their desperate cries?
Keeping one eye on the television as they pour their heart on the table.
In one ear and out the other,

tending to someone else in need while I crumble in the corner.

When a smile is just like a song
that plays like a taunting record in your mind.
Over and over.
Until you fall to your knees with regret, exasperation, and sorrow.

No, these eyes are monstrous in this light.
Unsightly and unbeautiful.
I must find you.
I crave your gentle and soothing words,
warm as the sun.
Warm like you.

Home, Sweet Home.

2/7/10

This weekend has been a whirlwind of amazing and tiring events.

I've never been more in pain, tired, stressed, annoyed. I've never worked harder, or for as long as I have been. I've never gotten so many bruises, cuts, and sore spots before. I've never wanted to break down and cry, scream, or punch the wall more in my life.

This has been the best weekend of my life.

Let me attempt an explanation.

*****

So like I've said before, I work at Jacob's Well. And it's looked and felt the same for the last 8 years of existence. Deep red walls, yellow in the kitchen. Holes in the wall, dirty. Lame.

It's been in the works for a while now to repaint the insides, revamp the furniture, and overall give the entire place a new look and a new feel. We began this process late Wednesday night and have not come up for air since then.

So far, we have hauled out 50+ pieces of furniture, including 5 couches and a diner booth, packaged up all the dishes and mugs, the silverware, and moved out the appliances from the kitchen. We've scrubbed the walls, primed them, and painted them dark purple and bright green. We've got the doors and trim painted black.

I've been on MULTIPLE runs to Lowes, Meijer, McDonald's, and everywhere in between for this project. Getting more paint, loading up on food and water, going to friends houses to borrow supplies. I'm the driver. That's a way that I really love people. I take them where they need to be. I help them run their errands because I love to be with them, and see them get where they need to be. I value this quality in myself very greatly.

I've spent this weekend with some of the most loving, supportive, funny, tremendous people I know. I haven't smiled while working this hard before. I haven't been COVERED head to toe in all colors of paint and been called 'adorable'. I haven't been able to dance around with a paint roller and use it as a microphone, stand on counters and look over room separators and spy on others. I'm having the time of my life doing this.

The greatest part about all of this is being able to spend all of my time in my home away from home. Literally, it's about 5 minutes from my house. I call Jacob's Well my home, I call these people my home.

This is all worth the pain, because we're creating a place of love and happiness.

Yep..

2/1/10

2 miles running.
20 push-ups.
30 sit-ups.

Each day.

I'm doing it RIGHT!

More to come later.

There was a time when
we used to keep our wishes
in big glass containers
to save them for later.
We stored them on the shelf in your bedroom.
Your cat knocked mine over
and it splintered into twelve clean shards.
I cleaned it up and replaced it with an
empty
identical one

and I never told you.


We would relax on your back porch and
peer into your yard at
the fireflies, little flittering orbs of orangey-yellow,
and you’d say they were like small
specks of the sun, glowing in the deep black of night.

Sometimes you’d call me your firefly.



We shared our dreams with
each other, and yours would occasionally leave me with
my own nightmares.
You told me that once you had a dream that you cut me open
and my ribs were ivory and my lungs were made of crystal
and you’d chipped away at my bones and smashed my organs with your fist
just to claim my heart,
but in the end there had been nothing but a hollow mass of rotten black.

I cried myself to sleep that night, feeling like maybe
my ribs were too tight
and my lungs were too small.


We’d lie on the shaggy rug on your
bedroom floor,
exchanging nothing but whispers and secrets
and kissing not lips but collarbones and fingertips.
You would exhale into the shell of my ear,
your breath cold and vacant like the sound of the ocean
in a seashell,
except much weaker
and less eternal.


We decided that our favorite color
would be green, because green is the color of
bliss
and sin
and your cucumber-glazed eyes.
You drew vines on my ankle with emerald marker,
telling me that my skin was the prettiest canvas.

They’re still there, wrapped around my leg like
strangling choking killing restraints.


I’m laying on top of my mattress, clutching
your wish jar against my chest,
and wondering what had been in there before I’d unscrewed the top
and dumped it out my window.
A firefly lands on my pinky finger, and instead
of sunset-orange, it’s glowing a pallid jade.

Suddenly I don’t like green anymore.

1/27/10

I guess these things happen sometimes, and that's okay. Life goes on.

I may come out on bottom sometimes, but I have to make sacrifices to get on with my life.

I think it's easier for you to think I'm lying than to try and prove otherwise. If that gets you moving on with your own life, then I can handle the drama that's coming with this.

I'm so happy for you. You needed a real reason to move away from this stage in your life and find something new.

I don't hate you, and I'm kind of relieved that you hate me.

Have a nice life.

And I mean that.

I'm Happy The Way I Am.

1/26/10

The people in my life, the people who have left it, and the people who will enter it.

I have a message to you all.

I can't live my life without you.
I am who I am today because of you.
You will make my life easier the day I meet you.
Maybe I've already met you.
Maybe you already make my life easier.
You make me smile.
You make me cry.
You frustrate me.

And I love it all.




Current music : Panda Bear - Owl City

UGH.

1/19/10

This post has no structure, and I don't care.


This is such an emotional dilemma. When my cat meows at me, usually it means he's hungry. He used to eat all the time. Now he doesn't eat at all.

He's stick thin, and we're putting him to sleep in a mere 4 hours. He won't eat. His blood cell count is low. He had a thyroid problem.

He is on medicine for the thyroid. The vet wants to put him on an IV. What kind of cat would want to live on an IV?

I don't know if he is in pain or not. I WISH I knew what he was saying to me. I've gotten him to eat a bit in the last day. He asks for food, but when I pour it out and place it down next to him, he turns his nose at it.

What am I supposed to do? Time is running out, and with him occasionally eating, I can't help but wonder if he's trying to show me he can get better. But what if he's hurting I don't want him to keep suffering. How the HELL am I supposed to figure this out?

What a goddamn motherfucking struggle. I do not get it.

Just One More Cup Of Coffee

1/12/10

6:35 AM

I've decided to try sitting alone in a diner. I am the only female in the establishment, aside from the waitress. I am one of 3 people under 25 years of age, as well.
I order eggs, over-medium, and a side of sourdough toast. My coffee is black.

I am sat in a booth next to the window, aside the bar, and the booth behind me holds two elderly gentlemen enjoying a cup of coffee, the newspaper, and some well-mannered banter.
"Have you read the obituaries, yet?"
"I didn't think to, no."
"What was that? Yes or no, you old skeeze?"
"No, fix the hearing aid you old heffer."

I snort into my coffee. I hope to be that profound when I'm older.

As I sit and wait for my breakfast, I begin reading my book. I get 4 pages through when I become distracted by the large group of businessmen walking through the door.
They are extremely happy to be getting breakfast together, and laugh at the jokes they are happily telling each other. I smile.

6:50 AM

I pick at my food, but mostly focus on the coffee. The waitress kindly fills my cup once more, and walks away, leaving me to my book. As I enjoy my eggs, and read page after page, I look up occasionally to see people socializing at the bar, experiencing delightful conversation with their fellow early-morning acquaintances.

7:35 AM

Four cups of coffee, and nearly one hundred pages later, I am full and about ready to leave. I glance out the window to my right, and notice that it is light outside. The street is full of commuters traveling to work and school. I realize it may be difficult to turn out of the diner driveway to get home. In front of me, there is a crevice in the wall, and hanging from the ceiling is a wooden wind chime. I get the unbearable urge to move it and hear its music. That urge is subsided when the waitress brings me my bill. Thank God.

7:50 AM

I finally decide I am done, and pay for my food, leaving an 80% tip. How could I not? The waitress was attentive and polite, the food was delicious, and the company was both amusing and lovely.


Current music : Orphans - Jack's Mannequin

Loving you and your neighbor.

You Are The Thunder, And I Am The Lightening

1/12/10

You're so calm about everything, and I'm a ball of racket and hubbub.
You hardly talk to people, and I'm on every social networking site under the sun.
You love sports, and I'm extremely lazy.
Neither of us are interested in relationships because we can't be tied down.

Irony, once again. And I'm happy to say that I am okay with the fact that we will probably never be together, because we each crave our own adventures in life.


Some things on my mind :

• Jones soda only reminds me of Summer.
• I miss the comfort I found in you.
• The thought of leaving this town makes me smile.
• Selena Gomez's songs "As A Blonde" and "Naturally" describe my life.
• I have GOT to do dishes.
• And laundry.
• My cat is probably the most lovable creature on this earth.

Current music : Dance While The Sky Crashes Down - Jason Webley

Goodnight.

This Is My Mind

1/8/10

I smell like you, and I don't like it.

My legs are so sore from the snow.

I miss my artistic ambitions.

All I want to do is chop my hair off again.

I'm missing one of my two maroon fleece pillows.

Wow, my legs really hurt.

I got some band posters tonight from The Well.

Merry And Pippin are gonna fall off of my wall soon! Must save them!

You are way too far away from me. Come back to TC please.

I am not tired.

Goodnight.

In The Cafe She Sits...

1/8/10

I'm sitting in an empty coffee shop. On the couch, there are 3 pillows that don't match the fabric they are laying on. The stage isn't cleared, the mics are still in their prospective homes without voices to make them useful. It's nearly 2 AM, and I'm exhausted.

4 bands/musicians played sets tonight as I hurriedly made many grilled cheese sandwiches and large batches of tomato soup for the giddy listeners in the audience. I spent a great deal of tonight making scrumptious coffee drinks and laughing with friends as I "worked" my 7:30 PM - 2:30 AM shift.

My coworker is cleaning up, as he is allowing me to rest as we close the shop. I was the victim of heat exhaustion near the end of the night, and he has kindly put on the soft and alluring sounds of Jason Mraz as I type this.

~~~

I work at Jacob's Well; a late night coffee and tea bar. It's a highly enjoyable volunteer position, where I get to sit around with friends, make batches of cookies and coffee, and enjoy the occasional live band.

Tonight, I was introduced to the band "The Photographers" from my town. They are incredibly kind people, and their music is so lovely and ecclectic, I could listen to them sing for hours. (http://www.myspace.com/romanticbandits)

They had their last show in Michigan tonight, and now they are off to England! That's so exciting!

I really look forward to Thursday nights, because usually it's the night I get to unwind and enjoy a good cup of coffee.

Current music : Romantic Burglar - The Photographers

Much love!

New Year, New Lifestyle, New Hair Color

1/1/10

Hello dear readers.

It's been quite some time since my last post, and a lot has happened since then.

I will try doing a recap of sorts.

September came and left pretty quickly, I ended up not being a youth leader at church because I really couldn't handle religious responsibility with kids, since I'm not very good with them.

October was a very emotionally stressful month where I definitely experienced a big rough patch. I was diagnosed with melanoma, had a lot of deep feelings about many different things, and almost lost my grandmother.
But on a happier note, I went to a lot of high school football games.

In November, I participated in NaNoWriMo and got to about 47,000 words at the very end of it. I also started using my lookbook a bit, but only uploaded 3 different looks. I saw my best friend Laura practically every weekend that month, even though we lived in different towns, going to different colleges. I also participated in TWLOHA Day. I do each time. :) Also, Thanksgiving was super fun. To end all the craziness in November, I decided to try Black Friday. It was a jungle in the stores, but I loved it!

In December, I acquired many new cute hats, saw a lot more of Laura, watched both "A Muppet Christmas Carol" and "It's A Wonderful Life" for the first time. I got really into the Christmas spirit, ate a lot of candy canes, and walked through a lot of snow. I participated in the 2009 Project For Awesome and made some YouTube videos. I got to see a lot of my friends from high school, and had my annual holiday party with all the people I love. I also got a new laptop for Christmas! Yay!

And now, as January is upon us, we all go back to school, go back to reality, and try to make ourselves into newer, more polished human beings for the new year. I started that by dying my hair brown.

My only "resolutions" are to stay positive, and try reading 100 books again. Maybe only 75. And to blog more.

Current music : I Caught Fire - The Used

<3